BFF’s?

by The Evans Fam on June 9, 2008

I have these friends, but sometimes they start fighting with me for no reason at all. Two days later they’ll be all huggy saying stuff like you’re my best friend ever, I love you, but I know from experience that before I know it we’ll be fighting again. I have so much fun with them and they’re my best friends in the world…..when they like me. But every so often they decide that they don’t like me. It never lasts long, but it still hurts. Things are going pretty well right now, but I’m preparing to get hurt again because it’s been a while. It’s like I am expecting it now! I’ve tried branching out to other people as friends, but it never clicks like it does when I’m with these friends I’ve been telling you about. Which is worse? Having no friends at all or having friends who hurt you and expect you to be okay with it after they suck up to you? 

~Emilie

Hi Emilie~

It is SO tough being a girl sometimes! With everything we have to go through in this life, if you can’t count on your friends to be there for you then every situation seems to be magnified beyond what we can handle. I have to say that one of my best friends growing up was a boy and our relationship was so much different than those I had with my girlfriends. I’m sure that every girl reading this has had a similar situation.

I have an eight year-old daughter who is learning this lesson herself. Everyday when I pick her up from school I ask how her day was and it is almost always the same response; It was good, except so-and-so was being mean to me, or so-and-so didn’t want to play with me at recess. I try to tell her each time that if her friends make her feel bad then they probably aren’t her real friends.

I can tell you that as an adult I even go through similar things with my grown-up friends. Fortunately we can just put it behind us at this point because we realize now that life is too short. When you’re eight, or 15, or even 20 for that matter, this is a more difficult realization. The way I see it, you have a couple of choices. You can either talk with your friends and let them know how you are feeling, (easier said than done, I know!), or you can just take a break from them. Sometimes we need that.

I had a best friend from Kindergarten through high school. We were each others Maid of Honor in our weddings and everything. I can probably sit here right now and list a handful of times when we went through these little tiffs, but what good would that do me? I would much rather remember all of the fun we had and all the good memories. In high school I had a few really good friends, some who I still have a great relationship with and others who I may get an email from every now and then. We had quotes under our pictures in our senior yearbooks and mine was, “Good friends we’ve had, good friends we’ve lost along the way” by the great Bob Marley. I guess my lesson here is that the friends you have now may not necessarily be around throughout your entire life here on earth, but the memories you make with them will be engrained in your mind always. Keep the friends in your life who make you a better person. The ones who make you smile, the ones you can laugh at yourself with, and the ones who uplift you. Be there for your friends, but don’t let them bring you down.

As I said before, it is tough being a girl, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have amazing friends whom I love with all my heart. I have friends who are just memories now, friends who I keep in my prayers because I know they aren’t living up to their fullest potential, friends who have passed on. Friendship is such a strong bond. If you know that you are being a good friend to these girls but they aren’t treating you the same, then maybe they don’t deserve you as a friend. I hope this helps!

~Brandy

“Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.” ~ Ludwig Von Beethoven~

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