I have a newly converted friend who has a little boy. She is 17. I often see her flirting with some of my guy friends but she doesn’t tell them she has a little boy. I’m her friend, so I don’t want to be mean to her, but on the other hand, those guys deserve to know that they shouldn’t flirt back. Or, they should at least know that she has a little boy. I think it’s really unfair for them.Also, the same person keeps coming to activities for youth because she wants to see the guys, but she isn’t allowed because she has a child. What am I supposed to do?

~Anonymous

Hi there~

This is kind of a touchy subject in the church. First of all I want to say that it is sad to me that your friend isn’t open about having a baby. Children are the biggest blessings we are given here on Earth and she should be proud to say she is a mommy. The fact is, she can’t go back and change it so she might as well embrace it rather than be ashamed of it.

On that note, once you have a child in the church, you are considered an adult. You are then welcomed to the Relief Society. I can understand your friend’s position in wanting to socialize with boys her age, but she will soon be 18 and able to attend the singles ward. Her records will still be in the family ward, but I don’t believe anyone would have a problem with her attending with the other young single adults. I did that myself for a while. I actually attended both wards occasionally, and went to the YSA activities. That’s how I met my awesome husband!

Your friend is on the right track. Joining the church will be such a wonderful and amazing thing for her and her son. There is so much love and support in this church and hopefully she will never feel alone in her decision. As for your role in this, just be her friend. Talk to her about your concerns and assure her that you have her best interest at heart. Maybe encourage her to speak with your Bishop about what he feels she should do. There is nothing more wonderful for a convert to the church than to have a great friend to love and support them.

Shortly after I joined the church I had some personal trials and felt so alone. My daughter and I ended up moving home with my parents and that is where I met Laura. She was the daughter of a great lady in my family ward there and her mom encouraged her to invite me to the YSA activities. I don’t know where I would be without her! Just be supportive of your friend. It is so easy to stumble off the path, and sometimes just having someone there to hold our hand along the way can make all the difference. Thank you for being this friend to her.

~Brandy

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