LDS Singles and Dating

Articles for LDS singles and young adults. Dating advice and more.

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By Fiona McAllister

With compelling characters and storyline, no wonder Twilight Fever struck so many. But beyond the surface, we need to be careful about the messages we take from Stephenie Meyer's books about dealing with love and life.

Sometimes, relationships like Bella and Edward's can be so intoxicating that you just can't get enough of each other, and like them you want to spend every possible moment together. To a certain point this is okay, but when does it become unhealthy? Edward can be overbearing and extremely jealous of anyone being with Bella. Bella's whole identity becomes built upon her relationship with Edward, to the exclusion of almost anyone and anything else. Having a great relationship with your boyfriend of course includes doing fun things and spending time together, but you also need to make sure you have a healthy balance of time spent with friends, family, school (or work) and interests.

Since having a relationship end is very upsetting, you need to have healthy coping mechanisms. Bella does not. She goes practically catatonic for 3 months after Edward dumps her, and then engages in extremely and increasingly risky behavior, like taking a thrill ride on a motorbike with a complete stranger, and jumping off a cliff into the ocean, simply to have the hallucination of hearing Edward's voice. A relationship cannot be so all consuming that if it ends you having nothing left. Healthy coping includes things like talking with your friends, parents, or someone else who is close to you for support; taking time for yourself like going on walks or riding a bike because exercising can really help get those endorphins (the feel good hormone) going in your brain; and most importantly praying for strength and healing.

Bella and Edward also spend time together in ways before they are married that could lead down a risky moral path. Edward sneaks into Bella's room and goes to sleep with her in her bed behind her father's back. They also spend time making out to the point where Bella practically begs Edward to have sex with her, and only his resistance stops this from happening. Although possible to not have sex doing these activities, it is very unlikely. Keep yourself from the heartache by saving these interactions for your husband. Give your boyfriend hugs, warm hand holding, and goodnight kisses after a date.

Of most importance, is to take a look at how Edward and Bella build their relationship. It is based on physical attraction, belief of how the other person is too perfect for them, and unhealthy behaviour. Edward keeps the truth from Bella in order to "protect" her and they have an obsessive compulsion to spend time with each other. Bella even describes her relationship with Edward by saying that he is like a drug to her, and she is addicted. That will only take you so far in the real world.

On the other hand, Bella and Jacob build their relationship entirely differently. It is based upon common interests, friendship, loyalty, and of course physical attraction too. Bella has a comfortable companionship with Jacob. She describes him as her personal sunshine, and best friend, but most importantly Jacob is always upfront and honest with Bella. For lasting relationships to develop, both partners need to have shared interests, be comfortable with each other, have open an honest communication, friendship and mutual respect.

So ultimately? Go ahead and read the Twilight Saga; but carefully observe how Bella builds and works in her relationships with both Edward and Jacob, and think about which style is realistically going to bring a lasting and happy relationship.

Fiona McAllister is a young, married mom who is addicted to style and fashion. She also loves kids, exercising, dancing, and dating her husband. She graduated from the University of Alberta with a Bachelor of Science in Human Ecology, with a focus in fashion and family. She writes freelance and lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

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3 Things That Seem Romantic But Aren’t

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By April Aragam Relationships have ups and downs no matter what age you are. But when you’re young, things that seem romantic might not really be. They are acts that make us feel special, needed and adored, but aren’t the true intention of the giver. 1. Jealousy While jealousy is thought to be an emotion […]

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Where Do I Go From Here?

By Jen Now what? What's next for me? After graduating from high school and as a young adult you face so many choices. It can be hard to figure out what's right for you. The academic world would have you strive for a degree that will lead to a fulfilling, well-paying full-time career. Our religious world […]

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Total Body (Image) Makeover: The Key to Lasting Self-Confidence in Dating and Beyond

As promised, here's a slightly shorter recorded version of the presentation I did for the Dating Conference at BYU. -Jen Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 For a more detailed written version of this talk, click here. To see the other Dating Conference presentations, visit BYU Women's Services & Resources past conferences.

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Dating Conference at BYU – What’s Your Question?

Hi, it’s Jen. I want to let you know I’ll be speaking at a Dating Conference at BYU on Oct. 15th. ’09. My presentation is titled: Total Body (Image) Makeover in Under an Hour! The Key to Lasting Self Confidence in Dating The conference is free and runs from 10am to 5pm. I’ll be speaking […]

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Service on “Singles Awareness Day”

By Michelle T.Valentine’s Day, also known as Singles Awareness Day or SAD by my single friends and I, is unfortunately seen as a negative. It’s a love-hate holiday; you love it if you are in a relationship and hate it if you’re not. For those of us who do find ourselves dateless, even if your […]

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Chocolate and a Makeover

By Michelle T.Get your friendly neighborhood MaryKay lady to help you out on Valentine’s Day. Or another professional like MaryKay. There are many companies which come and give free samples of makeup and lotions, etc. and can find the matches for skin tone, and eye shadow, etc. For this Valentine’s Day, on or around it, […]

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Single on Valentine’s Day

By Reena AlthafSo, what do you do when you find yourself single and alone on Valentine’s Day? Do you get repulsed by the sight of candies and gifts available in stores, sad at the thought of being alone on the most romantic day of the year and angry at the arrival of the day itself? […]

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Singles Life Interview: AnnaLaura Brown, Entrepreneur

We recently interviewed a young single adult named AnnaLaura Brown, who has a successful online business. We wanted to find out how she got started making money online. Jen: How did you get started selling candles? AnnaLaura: I found an ad online, read the website, talked with the woman who owns the website, took some […]

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