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Post image for Thrift It! 5 Tips for Your Thrift Store Experience

By Sarah Martin

I have often wondered to myself, while looking at a particularly trendy friend or at a fascinating stranger, how they ever managed to assemble their ensemble. I sometimes grow envious, not at the girl, but at her wallet which I conclude must be much more full than mine. I think to myself, over and over, that if only I had the money she does, I could be as pretty, as happy, as positively good-looking. But then I am brought to my senses, and I must smile at how ridiculous my thoughts must have sounded. 

I don’t know about you, but I am a poor college student, and before that, I was a poor high schooler. For years I was plagued with the idea that you have to have money in order to take part in any kind of fashion. I thought that department stores were the haven of the perfect blouse and the amazing handbag. Then, my world was changed when I was introduced to thrift stores. 

Why I Love Thrifting

The amazing thing about fashion today is that it’s so versatile. We are so lucky to live in a time when there are so many variations on what’s trendy. We can go hipster, we can go school girl, we can go Marilyn Monroe if we so choose. With the right hemlines and accessories, we can rock any decade that sparks our fancy, and our ability to create entirely new styles has never been more accepted. Even with the values of modesty that we hold dear, we can create looks for ourselves that are not only fabulous, but completely unique.

On a modest budget, a good thrift store can do amazing things for any fashionista. One girl’s trash becomes another girl’s treasure, as the saying goes, and it’s completely true. Some of my favorite pieces in my closet I found at one thrift store or another, and I just love being able to shock people when I tell them what I paid for my designer find. Though thrift stores can be a little overwhelming, it’s important to understand that not every thrift store is created equal. Hopefully I can help you start your thrift store hunt.

I remember walking into my first thrift store and feeling completely overwhelmed. I stared in amazement at the tables and cabinets simply teeming with anything and everything. I felt like I couldn’t touch anything, and stood still for fear that even breathing would knock something over. But then my curiosity won over. I began to pry under stacks of newspaper, and to move the boxes of old records. 

5 Tips for Your Thrift Store Experience

  • Tip #1: Move things! Thrift stores are very rarely organized, and if they are, it is probably impossible to tell, so don’t be afraid to shift things around and dig a little. You are hoping to find a bargain, so don’t be surprised if you have to work at it. 
  • Tip #2: Talk to the owner! or the workers there, whoever looks mildly amused by what they are doing. The owners of thrift stores are sometimes very interesting people. They may seem a bit outlandish, and I’ve known a few to smell faintly of cats and chicken soup, but don’t let that deter you. These people have probably spent years amassing the collection of objects in their crowded store, and very well may have some great stories and suggestions to go along with their treasures. I never would have found my favorite, authentic leather belt ($ 10!!) if I hadn’t asked the nice man behind the counter. And don’t be afraid to haggle! This can be a little scary at first, but you can do it! if you think something is overpriced, it probably is, so tell the salesman. Most of the time, they will lower the price for you. 
  • Tip #3: Have a Goal! Its helpful whenever you are shopping to have something in mind to look for, maybe a color that you don’t have enough of, or a belt, maybe some gold earrings. If you have a question in mind, your more likely to find an answer. Be sure though, that you keep your mind open to other things though while you search. I find that I usually stumble upon my best finds while looking for something else. 
  • Tip  #4: Fix it! Often times, I have to make minimal changes to what I buy after I bring in home. I’ll cut the shoulder pads out of a shirt or take some nail-polish remover to a bag to get the smudges off. If I had to make changes to something new, I probably wouldn’t buy it, but remember, you are not buying something new. The beauty of an object is in the eye of the beholder, and that is so true with thrifting. I bought this white pencil skirt once, and the girls I brought with me looked a bit concerned. They saw the rust stains of the previous hanger and the pen marks by the hem, but I saw a missing puzzle piece to my wardrobe. I took some Tide-Pen to it, threw it in the wash, and now I can’t wear it without getting compliments. Best three-dollar investment I have ever made. When you buy it, it’s yours! You have the power to change it, to cut it, to synch it, to dye it even. My favorite part of thrift-store shopping is the amount of creativity it allows you to have on your limited budget, so don’t be afraid to make your purchase yours. 
  • Tip #5: Keep Trying! Like I said, all thrift stores are definitely not created equal. Sometimes a store that may look promising is a total flop. Sometimes it’s just not your day. Sometimes you may have the wrong group of friends with you who are just not very interested in some heavy searching. Whatever the reason for your bad thrifting experience, please don’t give up. For every sad little store, there are dozens of amazing shops that will seem as though set up specifically for you, so give thrifting a few more tries. 

Happy Hunting!

Well, ladies, I hope this helped. I know that thrift stores truly inspire me to be more creative, more involved in what I wear, and help me to have so much fun with fashion. Go out and find your local thrift stores and start searching, you will be amazed at what you can find on a limited budget. Good luck hunting!

Sarah Martin is a student at Brigham Young University and is pursuing a major in print journalism. She loves fashion and aspires to work on a fashion magazine that expresses the values of modesty she has come to revere.

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Post image for On Twilight, Love and Life

By Fiona McAllister

With compelling characters and storyline, no wonder Twilight Fever struck so many. But beyond the surface, we need to be careful about the messages we take from Stephenie Meyer's books about dealing with love and life.

Sometimes, relationships like Bella and Edward's can be so intoxicating that you just can't get enough of each other, and like them you want to spend every possible moment together. To a certain point this is okay, but when does it become unhealthy? Edward can be overbearing and extremely jealous of anyone being with Bella. Bella's whole identity becomes built upon her relationship with Edward, to the exclusion of almost anyone and anything else. Having a great relationship with your boyfriend of course includes doing fun things and spending time together, but you also need to make sure you have a healthy balance of time spent with friends, family, school (or work) and interests.

Since having a relationship end is very upsetting, you need to have healthy coping mechanisms. Bella does not. She goes practically catatonic for 3 months after Edward dumps her, and then engages in extremely and increasingly risky behavior, like taking a thrill ride on a motorbike with a complete stranger, and jumping off a cliff into the ocean, simply to have the hallucination of hearing Edward's voice. A relationship cannot be so all consuming that if it ends you having nothing left. Healthy coping includes things like talking with your friends, parents, or someone else who is close to you for support; taking time for yourself like going on walks or riding a bike because exercising can really help get those endorphins (the feel good hormone) going in your brain; and most importantly praying for strength and healing.

Bella and Edward also spend time together in ways before they are married that could lead down a risky moral path. Edward sneaks into Bella's room and goes to sleep with her in her bed behind her father's back. They also spend time making out to the point where Bella practically begs Edward to have sex with her, and only his resistance stops this from happening. Although possible to not have sex doing these activities, it is very unlikely. Keep yourself from the heartache by saving these interactions for your husband. Give your boyfriend hugs, warm hand holding, and goodnight kisses after a date.

Of most importance, is to take a look at how Edward and Bella build their relationship. It is based on physical attraction, belief of how the other person is too perfect for them, and unhealthy behaviour. Edward keeps the truth from Bella in order to "protect" her and they have an obsessive compulsion to spend time with each other. Bella even describes her relationship with Edward by saying that he is like a drug to her, and she is addicted. That will only take you so far in the real world.

On the other hand, Bella and Jacob build their relationship entirely differently. It is based upon common interests, friendship, loyalty, and of course physical attraction too. Bella has a comfortable companionship with Jacob. She describes him as her personal sunshine, and best friend, but most importantly Jacob is always upfront and honest with Bella. For lasting relationships to develop, both partners need to have shared interests, be comfortable with each other, have open an honest communication, friendship and mutual respect.

So ultimately? Go ahead and read the Twilight Saga; but carefully observe how Bella builds and works in her relationships with both Edward and Jacob, and think about which style is realistically going to bring a lasting and happy relationship.

Fiona McAllister is a young, married mom who is addicted to style and fashion. She also loves kids, exercising, dancing, and dating her husband. She graduated from the University of Alberta with a Bachelor of Science in Human Ecology, with a focus in fashion and family. She writes freelance and lives in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

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Post image for 3 Things That Seem Romantic But Aren’t

By April Aragam

Relationships have ups and downs no matter what age you are. But when you’re young, things that seem romantic might not really be. They are acts that make us feel special, needed and adored, but aren’t the true intention of the giver.

1. Jealousy
While jealousy is thought to be an emotion that means we’re loved and don’t want to be taken away, there is a limit. We all feel jealous sometimes. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend get attention from someone else can trigger jealousy. But it is not something to be acted upon. When jealousy turns into making your boyfriend or girlfriend feel guilty about having any other human contact or the jealousy turns into anger, there is a problem. Most of the time we have to keep our feelings of jealousy under control. Just because we feel something, we don’t always have the right to express it. Jealousy and expressing it will also make the other person feel as though they are not trusted.

2. Constant Contact
When you are not with your boyfriend or girlfriend, do they always have to be in touch with you whether it’s on the phone or texting? What happens if you can’t be reached immediately? If your partner doesn’t like when you’re out of reach, this is cause for concern. Though it may seem sweet and loving that they always have to know where you are, it’s quite the opposite. This is a form of control and an indication that you are not trusted. Unless you have actually done something to make someone not trust you, never blame yourself for their actions. If someone cannot trust you whether you have done something or not, they do not have a right to control and harass you. If you are not able to go any period of time without having to check in or be contacted by your boyfriend/girlfriend it’s time to have a conversation.

3. Buying Forgiveness
If your boyfriend or girlfriend gets angry often and then buys back your affection with flowers, candy or other gifts you want to be careful. Not because it is dangerous, but because it’s a bad habit to get into. If someone learns they can lose control of their temper and then make everything right with a gift, they’ll continue doing it and it can lead to worse things, such as physical abuse. You don’t want to teach them that they can come back from bad actions simply by buying their way back into your good books. It takes more than a gift to make things right, especially when it comes to things like communication. A gift doesn’t take the place of talking out problems and dealing with them.

When any of the above actions become habit, it’s not a sign of romance, but more of control. Control is not love, but when you are new to dating it can feel like something special.

April Aragam is a freelance writer from Vancouver, BC. She has been published in magazines such as Calgary's Child, Baltimore's Child, The New Writer, The Willamette Writer and Fellowscript.

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Are Your Clothes Really Modest?

By Francesca Nishimoto

We may think we are dressed modestly when really we aren’t, even if we are following all the written rules.

Modesty is just as much about the spirit of the law as it is about the letter of the law.

Here are some ways to check for accidental immodesty before heading out the door.

  1. Sneaky Skin: You may not realize areas of skin that are showing because you cannot see them. Stand in front of a mirror and bend over in all directions. Check for skin showing on your backside, tummy, and chest. If you can see down your shirt, so can anyone else taller than you.
  2. Tight Clothing: Modesty not only means covering skin, but also covering curves. Men are just as interested in tight clothing that shows off every line of your body as they are in clothes that reveal those curvaceous body parts. Your clothes are too tight if you can’t pinch them, move around comfortably in them, or put them on easily.
  3. Glamour: Flashy, big, and too much jewelry; heavy, unnatural makeup; and incredible heel height make you look more like a woman of the world than a woman of the Lord. Modesty means not drawing attention to ourselves, obsessing over fashion and makeovers, or focusing on the “vain imaginations” of the world.1 The word modesty is related to the word moderate.2 Sister Tanner said, “A loving Heavenly Father has given us physical beauties and pleasures ‘both to please the eye and to gladden the heart’ (D&C 59:18), but with this caution: that they are ‘made to be used, with judgment, not to excess, neither by extortion’ (D&C 59:20).”3
  4. Underwear: Does the inside of your underwear drawer look like an adult-store catalog? The purpose of underwear is to cover and protect your private areas, not show them off. Wearing modest underwear, whether or not anyone else sees it, shows reverence for your sexual body parts and prepares you for all-covering garments. And make sure your underwear doesn’t peek outside your pants, especially when you bend or sit down.
  5. Church/Temple: You can be modest but still be inappropriately dressed for church or the temple. It won’t hurt to ditch the casual wear for three hours. Don’t overdo it either—church is not a fashion show. Wear clothing that makes you look your best while still helping you and others be reverent and focus on the Savior.

1 Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women,” Ensign, Nov. 2005, 28.

2 Susan W. Tanner, “The Sanctity of the Body,” Ensign, Nov. 2005, 13.

3 ibid.

Francesca Nishimoto, mother of a cute baby boy, lives in Mesa, AZ, where her husband is finishing school. She graduated from BYU with a B.A in English Language and a minor in editing. She enjoys writing children's stories and blogging.

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Where Do I Go From Here?

Thumbnail image for Where Do I Go From Here? Book Reviews

By Jen Now what? What's next for me? After graduating from high school and as a young adult you face so many choices. It can be hard to figure out what's right for you. The academic world would have you strive for a degree that will lead to a fulfilling, well-paying full-time career. Our religious world [...]

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Total Body (Image) Makeover: The Key to Lasting Self-Confidence in Dating and Beyond

Beauty

As promised, here's a slightly shorter recorded version of the presentation I did for the Dating Conference at BYU. -Jen Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 For a more detailed written version of this talk, click here. To see the other Dating Conference presentations, visit BYU Women's Services & Resources past conferences.

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Different Types of Immodesty

Living Articles

By Jennifer Loch When you think of being immodest you probably think of wearing skimpy clothing. But there are actually many different types immodesty. It's not all about the way you dress– it's also about the way you act, 'cause to be modest kinda means to be humble. And it's not just something that girls [...]

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