How Do You Turn A Guy Down?

by Jen

Here’s a question from Grams’s Corner:

Grams, Is there a polite way to turn a boy down when he asks you out on a date? I’m 15 now, but will be 16 for the Prom. I think a boy I’m not very comfortable around might ask me out. I don’t really want to go with him, but I don’t want to lie or not go to the Prom at all. Is it best to just go? But I want to have fun, too! I don’t want to be rude.

First I want to commend you for waiting until 16 to date. That is wonderful. You did not say why you are uncomfortable being around him. Makes me wonder if you are afraid he may ask you to do something that is not right. This is one of the reasons why dating when you are 16 and group dating is a must. If you have friends that have dates to the Prom, ask them to create a group and attend this way. There is safety in groups.

I remember a dance one of my girls went to. They decided that they would go as friends. They did not want to have a “date” per se they just wanted to have fun and they had a blast. I have also heard where a group of young ladies and a group of young men decided not to take a date. They just wanted to go without the stigma of having a date. They went and had fun.

If this young man still asks you, just let him know that you are going in a group. I would also suggest that you pray about him as well. Be sure to keep an open/clear mind when you do talk with Heavenly Father about this young man or any other one. We never know what Heavenly Father has in mind.

Good luck most of all have fun.


Visit Grams’s Corner to read more from Grams and ask her a question of your own.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous September 25, 2006 at 7:19 pm

I recommend the book “I kissed dating goodbye” by Joshua Harris

I believe in dating someone, when you are ready to get married.
Always start with friends:)
Enjoy the single life!


Anonymous November 28, 2006 at 8:36 pm

I was 15 and eleven months old. I had waited that long to date. And then prom came along. I would still not be sixteen by prom night. I thought, oh well, it’s only my sophomore year, it doesn’t really matter anyway, I can go next year! But that was until…. HE asked me to go with him. The football team captain quarterback, state champion wrestler, straight-A student headed for the airforce at West Point, voted “Most Attractive,” Student Body President, Homecoming King, need I say more? I was at a total turning point in my life. I had waited this long… now the moment of decision was here. I needed to decide. Would I give up fifteen years and eleven months of waiting to date until I was sixteen, and turn down Mr. Perfect(and I MEAN MR. PERRRFECT), or would I stick true to my values? It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I turned down Mr. Perfect that day, the only way I knew how: I TOLD THE TRUTH. It is absolutely vital to be honest with the boy when he asks you out or anything. Honesty is absolutely the only way to have everything out in the open. As it turned out, besides my broken heart, everything was okay. Mr. Perfect told me he respected me even MORE for being honest and choosing to stick to my values. He actually told me he wished just once he could find a girl with the strength I had to turn down a guy in the most honest way. That is how you turn a guy down– TELL THE TRUTH. Trust me- it is the only way. Everything will work out in the end, and you will know in your heart you did the right thing.


Anonymous November 28, 2006 at 8:38 pm

Just be honest like the person above this said. Just tell the guy the truth, whatever it is. No matter WHO it is, either, he doesn’t deserve your lies.


Anonymous August 9, 2009 at 7:36 pm

You need to live a little. Have fun! Life is about respect. Having a little fun is good for you


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