Single on Valentine’s Day

By Reena Althaf

So, what do you do when you find yourself single and alone on Valentine’s Day? Do you get repulsed by the sight of candies and gifts available in stores, sad at the thought of being alone on the most romantic day of the year and angry at the arrival of the day itself? Well! Spending the day crying into your comforter is not the solution.

Get out of your, ‘I’m so depressed mood’ and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Instead of brooding over what you don’t have, celebrate the day with what you do have and cherish the most. Look at this day as a day to fall in love with all that you take pleasure in. So brighten up that lonely heart and instead of trying to survive the day, live it up with these dos and don’ts.

DOs

1. Love Thy Self. Indulge in the luxuries that modern life has to offer you. Give yourself an extravagant treat and pamper your body with tender love and nourishing care. Visit a day spa and replenish your mind, body and soul. Forget your diet, overlook the calories, ignore the guilt and enjoy the rich taste of your favorite milk chocolates. Choose your favorite flowers and have them delivered to your doorstep. Write down ten things you love about yourself and you’ll be surprised how good you will feel.

2. Share the Love. Valentine’s Day is a day to express your love to the people who really matter to you. Take the opportunity to show your loved ones how much they mean to you. Your loved ones could be your immediate family members, friends, colleagues or even your neighbors. Let them know you appreciate them with gifts and cards. There is so much more love in your life than you realize. Let Valentine’s Day be the day to focus on how lucky you are for all that love.

3. Movie Time. If you are a movie buff then the best way to spend the day is to rent a movie, get some popcorn and cuddle up on the couch in your favorite pajamas. If you are feeling low and loveless don’t depress yourself with a romantic movie. Instead, go for a comedy that’ll have you in splits of laughter. Animated movies like ‘Ratatouille,’ ‘Meet the Robinsons’ and ‘Shrek the Third’ can be fun to watch and make you feel like a child again.

4. Jack Valentine. According to Norfolk tradition, a character named ‘Jack Valentine’ used to knock on the rear door of houses and leave sweets and presents for children. You could be ‘Jack Valentine’ by giving chocolates or gifts to children you know. You could offer to baby sit your little nieces or nephews so their parents could enjoy a night out. Meeting children in the orphanage can completely change your attitude towards life. Think about these children who are lonely throughout the year. Liven up their day and yours with chocolates, gifts and loads of love.

5. Friendly Fires. It would be a good idea to disconnect the phones and switch off the mobile. Loving friends, who have a valentine, may want to call on you to make sure you haven’t committed suicide. Though they may mean well, you may not enjoy their sympathy-- unless of course, the friend is single just like you. Then a heart to heart talk would do a world of difference. You could also gather all your single friends and throw a single’s Valentine’s Day party. This is a great way to bond with your true friends.

DON’TS

1. Dining Out. It is advisable not to eat out on Valentine’s Day. Every restaurant in town is guaranteed to be crowded with lovers. Instead order a calorie packed take-out and enjoy your food in the privacy of your home. Eating out with all those lovelorn couples around you can make you sick.

2. Vacation Blues. Going on a vacation during Valentine’s Day is a bad idea. You must remember that the entire world is celebrating this Day and wherever you go, you’ll find lovers huddled together, unless you plan to visit the Sahara Desert. That’s one place too hot for cupid.

3. Ex-Woes. Don’t be tempted to call your ex; hoping to find him at home, alone and sulking just like you. Valentine’s Day is a day to love and forgive. So, you can forgive your ex but don’t use this day to renew the relationship. Remind yourself the reason for the breakup and at all costs keep your self esteem.

4. Don’t Tell Mom. Sharing your feelings with friends would make you feel good. But, sharing it with your mom would be a very bad mistake. She’ll probably try to set you up with the man you despise but which according to her is perfect ‘son-in-law’ material.

5. Chatting it Up. Resist the urge to chat on the web, in the hope of meeting guys who do not have a valentine and are single just like you. You may possibly end up giving out too much information to a person you don’t know (and probably don’t want to know).


Being lonely and single on Valentine’s Day need not necessarily be the end of the world. There are many ways in which singles can enjoy this day and overcome the depression that this day brings. Valentine’s Day doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be a romantic or have a lover by your side. Focus on the important things in your life and celebrate your singleness and freedom to do what ever you want. Make this Valentine’s Day a memorable one.

Reena Althaf is a freelance writer and a full time mother to two adorable daughters. She is of Indian origin based in UAE. Besides writing she enjoys reading, knitting, crochet and socializing.

Singles Life Interview: AnnaLaura Brown, Entrepreneur

We recently interviewed a young single adult named AnnaLaura Brown, who has a successful online business. We wanted to find out how she got started making money online.

Jen: How did you get started selling candles?

AnnaLaura: I found an ad online, read the website, talked with the woman who owns the website, took some time to think about it and then decided to get started.

Jen: Where you looking for a work-from-home opportunity before you learned about this business?

AnnaLaura: I had considered working from home before but was not actively looking. I saw the opportunity and it caught my attention.

Jen: Why do you think selling candles is a good business?

AnnaLaura: 90% of all US households burn candles, they are easy to sell and its fun; people love talking about and smelling candles.

Jen: What makes your candles unique?

AnnaLaura: They are made from an all vegetable wax so they burn clean with no black on the jars and the scent lasts from top to bottom.

Jen: Where did you learn how to make a website?

AnnaLaura: I actually already knew how to make websites as I had taken a class at school on it.

Jen: About how many hours do you work on your business per week?

AnnaLaura: It varies, but usually about 15.

Jen: About how much money do you make per month?

AnnaLaura: My income grows every month and I already make more than enough to pay my rent and I hope to one day make enough to do my business full time.

Jen: What advice would you give to a young woman wanting to start a home business?

AnnaLaura: I recommend taking inventory of what you want to do and of what kinds of things you like as well as talking with others who have already done it in order to make the right decision.

Jen: What advice would you give a girl who wants to learn how to do internet marketing?

AnnaLaura: Read and do research and learn all you can from those who have done it successfully and make sure you have a plan before you start.

Jen: What are your goals for the next 5 years?

AnnaLaura: My big goal for the next 5 years is to pay off all of my debt and make enough money with my business to quit my job.

Find out more and see the candles at ScentedCandlesClub.com.

Single and Celibate

By Kristin Naff
The world is full of advice for singles. Unfortunately, most of this advice involves tips for casual sex or seducing beautiful women through hypnosis. The fact is that "single" doesn't always mean "celibate." Although being both single and celibate in today's world can be difficult, there are ways to make it easier.

First, remember why. For religious people, the "why" for chastity is easily answered, but what about the "why" for being single? Is it a lack of opportunity? Is there something more important to focus on? You can be single by default, but chastity is a conscious and ongoing choice. A clear purpose can strengthen your resolve.

Second, don't believe everything you see in the media. The need for drama in television often paints a false picture of reality. Even if you stand firm in your beliefs, some television shows and magazines can create a sense of pressure and isolation. Contrary to popular belief, celibate singles do exist! If you're faced with this kind of pressure, find some alternative media. Check out small presses, indie 'zines, e-zines, podcasts, or NPR instead. You can ditch high-pressure media without living like a monk.

Third, become part of something bigger. Couples tend to feel that their relationship is something bigger than themselves as individuals, and most people long for that kind of a greater connection. Try volunteering. It is a great thing to know that you are making a difference to a person, a family, or a community.

Fourth, meet lots of people. If it seems like everyone you know is pairing off or hooking up, you might just need a wider circle of acquaintances. The more people you know, the more likely you are to meet other celibate singles who sympathize with the challenges. If you don't know where to start meeting new people, join a local club or organization.

Fifth, get a hobby. It is more difficult to feel pressured about sex when your mind is occupied with other things. Sports or other forms of exercise can improve your health and elevate your mood. If you're looking for something more hands-on, try painting, basket weaving, bookbinding, or cooking. You can usually find classes to get you started, or you can contact organizations such as the Colored Pencil Society of America or the International Jugglers' Association.

Sixth, speak out! In a society where chastity is uncommon, many people will assume that you share their views. Holding your silence may help you blend in, but if someone is saying something to you that goes against what you believe, let that person know how you feel. It is possible to be assertive without being mean or preachy. If you are nervous about this, saying "I appreciate your thoughts, but I've made a choice to be celibate" is a good start. Keep it simple. You can manage the situation gracefully without going into your reasons (although it is perfectly okay to state them if you are asked.) Avoid blaming or judging others verbally, as this can cause friction, especially in groups. You have a right to walk away from a situation in which you feel uncomfortable.

Lastly, never compromise yourself for the sake of popularity or "love." It will not make things easier. Someone who "loves" you but does not respect your decisions will not make a good friend or future husband. You--or the person people think you are--might gain some short-term acceptance from acting against your beliefs, but it is more difficult in the long run, and not worth the regret. Remaining chaste and single can be difficult, but remember, you are not alone.

Quick Tips: Finding Love Online

By April Aragam
1. Be honest in your profile. Know what you want and state it clearly. Be honest about your height, weight, interests etc. Don’t state what you’d like to be, state what you are.

2. Include a photo. As much as we’d like to believe they don’t, looks do matter. People have their preferences and attractions. Make it a recent photo even if your favorite photo of yourself is from two years ago. And of course, don’t over Photoshop your photos; you want to give people as close a resemblance to yourself as possible.

3. When someone contacts you and they don’t have the same intentions (ie. they just want fun; you’re looking to settle down), don’t waste your time. Someone with completely different interests or someone who lives on the other side of the world is also probably not a good investment of your time.

4. You might be looking for love online, but don’t keep it there. E-mail a few times instead of for months before talking on the phone. Don’t wait months before meeting in person.

5. Always, always meet in a public place. No matter how much you like them or feel a strong connection, meeting in a public place is for your own safety. Let people know where you will be (complete with an address and phone number) and when you’re expecting to be back.

April Aragam is a freelance writer from Vancouver, B.C. She has written for such publications as Fellowscript, Listen, The Writer's Ezine and Cross and Quill.