How Clothing Influences Your Relationships

By Nick Sidwell

“Sometimes we don’t realize how far the ripples reach when we throw a rock into a pond. The fact is, those ripples that we cause, may affect others though we are unaware of the damage. So, it is important to remember that our actions always have consequences and we will always affect those around us. Just like those ripples in the pond; sometimes we have no control over where they go and what happens with them. It’s best not to throw the rock.” --Josh K.

I am a student at SUU in southern Utah. I study communications because communication is all about how the messages we send change the world around us. They especially change the relationships we develop with others. Relationships have always been important to me because I knew someday I would be married forever in the temple and I needed to find the right person. And, I was married there, to the right person! My wife, Sarah, is my best friend!

When I was dating after I turned 16, I had lots of fun learning about new people and what I liked about them. I still remember being astounded when I found out that girls use signs and gestures to show guys what they think or feel. Like how they sit when they are by you can say a lot. I started noticing these little signs more and more and tried to guess if they liked me or not based on the little messages. It turns out; they have classes that teach about nonverbal communication and relationships- that’s where I am today.

Like I said, communication is all about messages being sent back and forth. Through dating I learned to read these messages and interpret them the best I could. Every thing we do sends a message and we are always communicating. Even the clothing we wear sends a message about us.

I just finished a huge research paper about the influence that clothing has on relationships. I studied a lot of people and what researchers have said about clothing and relationships. The results were very interesting, especially about immodest clothing. In dating and meeting someone for the first time, the clothing you choose tells a story about you for the other person. In the case of immodest clothing, the story in not a good one. The girls that wore revealing clothing made the other person uneasy and uncomfortable. Even girls were uncomfortable with other girls that wore immodest clothing. The most interesting was the boys’ response. It got their attention at first but most of them decided to back off the relationship or not approach them at all because they felt uneasy about the clothing.
I learned a valuable lesson. We can tell who has “… [His] image in [their] countenances…” (Alma 5:14) and we feel good around those who have the “light of Christ” because that is the message they send out through their choice of clothing. Those who know their body is the temple of the Holy Ghost have the spirit with them. Those who show off their bodies and invite the world in don’t keep the spirit with them and they make us uncomfortable. My friends and several guys I hang out with look for those who always dress modestly because we appreciate that they take our feelings into consideration. When the weather gets hot we often comment about having to always look at the ground because girls wear less clothing and our thoughts become uncontrollable. It’s a constant struggle that I hate being burdened with. It’s not fair, but I don’t think girls know or understand it.

Since studying the influence that clothing has on others, I thank girls who wear modest clothing and act modestly. They are the ones who have a positive affect on those around them, without even knowing it. I know the Lord gave us a body just like His. He wants us to be happy and “let [our] light so shine before men, that they may see [our] good works, and glorify [Him]…” (Matt. 5:16) Thank you, to all those who send out the right message, that they love the Lord; I know he is pleased with you. I appreciate you.

About the author: Nick Sidwell is 24 and lives in Cedar City UT but is originally from SLC. He is studying Communications and Spanish at SUU (Southern Utah Univ.) He and his wife Sarah (age 22) were married in the Manti temple a year and 1/2 ago. Nick served a mission in Torreón, Mexico. Sarah is a new 4th grade teacher- and loves children. They hope to raise righteous kids someday that dress modestly and love the Lord ;)





You can reach Nick at sidwello@yahoo.com
Or at: 655 South 300 W. apt. B4
Cedar City, Utah 84720

Feel free to comment, respond, ask advice or give advice and money… they also accept Walmart gift-cards ;)