By Jennifer Loch
Latter-Day Saints believe in covering the shoulders for modesty, and I recently received this email from an LDS teen:
"Ok, so i still have a hard time staying modest. Especially when summer is around. I went shopping yesterday and i found it so hard to stay away from racerback styled tank tops. I don't understand why its such a big deal, i could see spaghetti straps but racerbacks? Its not like guys get attracted to our shoulders like more feminine parts of a womens body right? I just don't understand, i've fallen in to the habit of just slipping on a tank top everyday for school, putting on a sweatshirt for seminary and taking it back off the moment i get back in the highschool building. Even my mother has started noticing. Please help me understand why tank tops are so bad?"
I felt the same way when I was a teen. I wore tank tops, and I didn't understand why I wasn't supposed to wear them. It's not that wearing a tank top is so bad; there are worse things you could be wearing, or doing for that matter. Tank tops are comfortable and I loved wearing them. But I also felt guilty that I wasn't following the rules of my religion and it crept into my mind that I could break other rules as well, so it lead to other things.
I've heard that you should think of it like a test; it's a part of the religion that you believe in, so you believe that God is asking you to do it. He's asking you to do something that you might not understand, but if you obey him you are proving your obedience to him, and he will bless you for it.
If you're looking to date a good LDS guy who goes on a mission and lives the gospel, he will be looking for the same in you. If a guy like that sees that you aren't following the rules, he might think that you don't live the gospel in other ways and you aren't the kind of girl for him.
Shoulders may not be as sexy as cleavage, but men do find them attractive. It's not something they think about, it's more subconscious. Now that I'm married and wear garments, my husband has said on several occasions when I wasn't dressed or was wearing a swimsuit "Oh, your shoulders! I never get to see them when you're dressed. I never thought about shoulders being sexy but now I see why garments cover your shoulders and back because they're really sexy."
And if you think about it, most outfits that are supposed to look sexy show your back and/or shoulders. Just think about what the female celebrities wear on the red carpet. It's almost always something that shows the shoulders or back. When I wore tank tops, I always thought I looked better in them than in tops that covered my shoulders. "I have nice shoulders," I thought. But it actually goes back to the fact that subconsciously we think of showing shoulders as more attractive, sexy or glamorous, and that's why I thought I looked better in tank tops.
When I got married at 20, it was frustrating because I didn't have much I could wear with garments. I wished I had prepared earlier by wearing the kinds of clothes I could wear with garments. I had to change my habits, get rid of some clothes, and start layering.
Sometimes I miss the cool comfort of a tank top, which makes me wish I hadn't been spoiled by wearing them in the first place. But I still buy and wear tank tops; I just use them as layering pieces now. So you can still get use out of your tank tops while covering your shoulders. Just wear them over or under something that covers the shoulders instead of wearing them alone. Wearing a little shrug over a tank top can be a good place to start.
Hope this helps! -Jen
Labels: lds young women, why modesty is good
We found a unique company that focuses on modest clothing where East meets West. They sell imports as well as local designer jewelry & clothing. At Global Trendzz they have apparel, belts, purses, jewelry and embroidered bags. They plan to soon add skirts, footwear, knitwear, a personal care line and more-- they just launched a month or two ago.
