No, Really – It’s a Good Thing!

by Jen on December 21, 2007

By Rebecca Reichl

Sometimes modesty is just frustrating. Do you ever feel like you’re just never going to be able to get it right? Do you ever wish that you could just not have to struggle with it? Do you ever think, “You know, it would really be nice if for once I could just go to the store and buy an outfit like a normal person?”

Me too. For me, modesty is one of those practical virtues that is so pretty in the ideal. If, lying in bed at night, I were to do word associations for “modesty,” the list would be so inspiring. Femininity. Godliness. Grace. Beauty. Elegance. Confidence. Chastity. The list goes on. In my head, modesty is a sign of maturity, a sign of a girl who cares for others, a sign of self-respect and self-worth. In my head, modesty is an ideal, an admirable achievement of a lovely woman.

And then . . . I go shopping. Then, I have to get dressed for school. Then, I have to go to a wedding. Then, I get frustrated.

Modesty isn’t easy. And, while it doesn’t have to be drudgery, sometimes it seems like life would just be a whole lot easier if I could just erase my beliefs and start over again.

It’s at this point in my moment of self-pity that I need to slow down and take a minute to remember why modesty matters in the first place.

There’s a reason that I associate all those wonderful words with modesty – it’s because they’re all true! The girl who is modest is beautiful. She is elegant, confident, feminine. She respects herself, and she respects those around her.

The heart of the question is – who am I doing this for? It’s not for your parents, or for your church. Ultimately, it’s not even for the guys around us. Dressing modestly is our chance to let purity shine through. It’s our chance to be confident in our femininity, without degrading ourselves into an object. It’s an opportunity to display maturity and to uplift those around us by showing the loveliness of a tasteful woman.

The next time you’re getting dressed or going shopping and start getting frustrated, give yourself a little pep talk. Look your mirror in the eye and tell that disgruntled girl staring back at you that modesty is beautiful. Modesty is feminine. And so are you.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous January 11, 2008 at 8:11 am

I clicked with what you where saying right away. Weeks of frustration, anger, tears, I have had it all. But I’ve never wanted to stop being modest…I just don’t always know where to go to find the clothes I need. I have a list of websites that have wonderful modest clothing. But they have another thing in commmon too,…price. I can’t go out every day to shop, so I look to the internet and like I said, the prices are unbearable -$79.00 for a skirt?! Not on my budget. I wish I could find a place that considers modesty as a valid and important issue for their clothing line, but also keeps there clothing afforadble. If anyone finds such a place let me know ;o) Still frustrated (but pressing on) ~*Beth

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Jen January 11, 2008 at 9:29 am

It’s true that modest clothing companies tend to be expensive. It’s usually because these companies produce and sell relatively small amounts, which means the costs to the company are higher per item sold. I am in the process of starting a modest clothing company. I am trying to keep the prices of our clothing affordable. We do, however, have certain set costs, no matter how much we sell. So that means if we sell fewer products, our prices will have to be higher in order to turn a profit. And no company can exist very long if they are losing money or just breaking even. The more clothes we sell the more we can lower our prices while still making some money. So hopefully the prices at all of the modest clothing companies will fall as more people buy modest clothing and support these companies (if the company cares about making their prices affordable and not just making money). My new clothing site will be JenClothing.com 🙂

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Melanie January 11, 2008 at 9:16 pm

Hi all–I totally agree with Beth’s frustration in trying to find clothes that we can wear, that fit us, that we can feel cute in, let alone stylish! I have finally found my answer with Modbe Clothing–it is posted on Jen’s site a few times, but let me put another plug in–they have amazing quality, affordable price (only $38 for a skirt!), and cute, stylish clothes that won’t go out of style next week. (like so many of the “trendy” stores do!) They have everything from the basic capsleeve and camisole to many other cute tops, modest and cute skirts and a new dress, an incredible variety of swim suits, and even jeans! Their clothes are the most comfortable I’ve ever worn–I love them! Check them out at http://www.melanie.mymodbe.com, then click on shop. Click on the name of the item to see a bigger picture of it. Feel free to e-mail me with any questions–my address is on the website. Enjoy!

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Anonymous January 28, 2008 at 6:44 pm

I totally agree with everyone. Finding cute modest clothes can be hard. I always go to kohl’s and get plain tees and layer them. You can come up with so many combinations and accessorize very well too. That is most of my wardrobe, and I love that style.

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Billy and Stephanie February 8, 2008 at 2:57 pm

i love what you have done to your hair and you’ve always dressed real cute!

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Jen February 8, 2008 at 4:25 pm

Thanks Stephanie!

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Anne February 18, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I have had the same problems! It is very important for me to dress with style, but also with modesty. Like one poster I do a lot of layering, but that can get so hot in the summer! There are a bunch of websites out there that have cute stuff. And yeah, some of them are VERY pricey, but some are not. I found this site a while back and now practically my entire closet is from there. http://WWW.KAYLASBLESSING.COM They sell only modest clothing, and their prices are AMAZING. They also get new things in all the time so I’m constantly getting new fun stuff. Ok, I really sound like I’m plugging that site. lol. But it is really a great site, and I’m in love with how easy it is for me to find cute affordable things now! (www.kaylasblessing.com)

~Anne 🙂

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Anonymous February 21, 2008 at 10:56 am

I enjoyed this article so much because it described my very thoughts. I will never give in to immodesty but it sure is a struggle to stay in style and be modest. I am so eager to be involved in modest fashion and have a question for Jen. Would you consider having a rep for your company on the East side of the US? I live in Florida and really find it frustrating that members who live east of Colorado are forgotten about when it comes to modest fashion. My goal is to change that. Only a year ago did I find out about some of these modest clothing websites and started asking around to friends and family and no one else had heard of them either. I want to bring modest clothing that is absolutely fashionable to members on this side of the US. I am actually speaking to the YW’s this Sunday about fashionable modesty. Would it be ok if I quoted parts of this article in my talk? It would help me out very much!
Hail to all the modest fashionistas out there!

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Anonymous April 13, 2008 at 9:52 am

I completely agree with the woman from Florida. I live in South Carolina and being modest and being in style and very hard to be at the same time, especially during the hot months here (which is most of the year) because of the extreme humidity. I am 17, a junior, and in my school there are about 10 active LDS girls at my school. And while modest is sometimes hard to be, it is also very important. Like you said, we’re not being modest only for ourselves. So while right now, things are hard, they will so be worth it.

Stay strong. If this 17 year old Southern Belle can do it, so can you.

CTR!

<3 Addison

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Anonymous April 14, 2008 at 9:33 am

Also see http://www.modest-swimwear.net for custom modest swimsuits.

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KellyAnne April 22, 2008 at 3:31 pm

I love what you say about why modesty is really important. It really is beautiful and feminine in the best way. And being able to respect yourself and not have to sell yourself or advertise, that is better than anything in the world. Way to go, you’re awesome!

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Anonymous May 6, 2008 at 11:31 am

Try http://www.DownEastBasics.com .
Their clothes are modest and very reasonably priced.

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Sakura Rose May 31, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Yay, ladies who want to bring modest fashion to the East Coast! I’m from New Jersey, and I too was amazed to find that there were so many great clothing companies that we never hear about over here. As a result, I started an East Coast modest fashion boutique to try to introduce these styles to our area.

Visit me at http://www.sakurarose.com

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Tara's blogs September 26, 2008 at 11:53 am

Hi girls,
I know exactly what you’re going through! I have a list of clothing sites that are modest, or have clothes that can be made mroe modest.

Do you guys have facebook?
If you want, you can look me up on there and I can send you the list of links.

Tara L (Indiana)

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Elizabeth March 27, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Hun, remember it's for God most importantly. 🙂

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LadyEsther June 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Today's sex crazed immodest society really irks me! I have grown in this area from my youth and I did dress to male attention to feel good as many do today! What a lie emptiness! My top burden is that women be respected and not objectified! Men are so visually stimulated so when we are immodest it's like putting a steak in front of them and telling them you can only look not eat it! Sensitive topic for me! Ugh. Then people go to extremism- like Muslims totally covering or puritans. No, I am talking modest trendy fashions! However I dont see how a bikini could ever be modest!?

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