Protecting your Sacred Gift

by Jen

By Kristina Haws

If someone was trying to kill you, would you just stick around and see what happens?

We all have inside of us a gift given to us by Heavenly Father: the ability to create life. Our loving Heavenly Father wants us to know how precious and sacred this gift really is.

President Ezra Taft Benson said, “Guard your virtue as you would your very life.” So if someone was trying to kill you, would you just stick around and see what happens? Of course not! You would run. That’s exactly what we should do when faced with a situation that’s getting out of hand — run away!

One way to prevent things from going too far is to be careful who you date. In For the Strength of Youth it says “Date only those who have high standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards. A young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to help each other maintain their standards and to protect each other’s honor and virtue.”

The way to stay morally clean is recognising the steps that lead to immorality:
“Single date
Out very late
Alone in the car
Extended hugging and kissing
French kissing
Hands start to wander
Hands under clothing
Removal of clothing
One laying on top
Sexual relations”

So the way to avoid immorality includes following these steps:
“Double date
Stay in seated, upright position
Keep clothes on
Keep hands to yourself
Do only closed mouth kissing
Keep hugs and kisses brief and seldom
Be with others
Set and keep curfew
Double date” 1

The world treats being immoral as normal and no big deal. Sometimes it seems like “everybody’s doing it”. But that isn’t true. There are many faithful youth who choose to stand up for what’s right.

Another lie of Satan is that immorality has no long term consequences. One consequence is the risk of contracting dangerous STDs. One is AIDS. This disease, in most cases, leads to death.

Another long term consequence of being immoral is the likelihood of getting pregnant. When the child is born the mother must face the choice of putting the child up for adoption or raising it. Either way it will be hard for the child and the mother: the mother will have a hard time raising the child or may feel guilty if she puts it up for adoption, and the child may feel unwanted or feel the loss of having only one parent. In On Guard it says “Unwed mothers usually have serious financial hardships.” The mother may also resent the child, causing psychological problems.

Young men and women who choose to be immoral face less obvious emotional turmoil as well. They lose their self respect and carry a burden of guilt and regret.
Although they can repent and be forgiven, this does not come easily.

“Decide today to be morally clean. Put a picture of your favorite temple on your bedroom wall. Then pray each morning and night asking Heavenly Father to help you reach that goal. Always remember that you are his daughter or son and you are going to live worthy to return to him one day.”2

1.On Guard by Gary and Joy Lundburg Pg.53-54
2.On Guard by Gary and Joy Lundburg

Kristina Haws is 16 and lives in North Platte,Nebraska. She is in 10th grade and likes to dance and sing.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous June 28, 2006 at 9:05 pm

I think that this is the greatest temptation today. It is so easy to rationalize, but I promise that it’s not worth it. Being someone who went a little too far, it’s stupid. Listen to the prophets, listen to your parents. They know what they’re talking about. You will hurt so much. You should never sacrifice yourself for temporary happiness. And that is what immorality is– temporary happiness. No matter how attractive it seems, it’s not right.


Anonymous June 29, 2006 at 11:15 am

From someone that made that awefull mistake, it’s so not worth it. Take a look at the big picture. After I was married I really regretted my past transgressions.


Miranda W. July 11, 2006 at 6:19 am

It is so easy to fall into that temptation. I have had to set up strict rules, such as only two kisses, two times a day for two seconds. I call it my two by two rule. Sometimes it’s hard to keep, but even then at least I’m only tempted to kiss a third time, instead of tempted to do something worse.


Anonymous August 8, 2006 at 6:26 pm

If you feel you are in a relationship that is getting to “heavy” in this area, take a step back:

Suggest to your boyfriend (or girlfried, for any guys reading this) that for a week or two, any time you are together that you don’t touch, kiss, or hug.

Is there still the comraderie and friendship that you first felt when going out? Maybe after this experiment you will discover that maybe you’ve focused too much on the physical. AND, if he says “no way” to trying out a week of refrainment, well, I think you know what’s fueling him in the relationship (yeah–dump him!)


mary August 16, 2006 at 7:52 pm

I agree….I like the list of ways to avoid losing your virtue. I’m committed to not doing more than a quick kiss until my wedding day. And if I can wait for the kiss till then, I’ll be even happier.


Anonymous October 16, 2006 at 1:58 pm

This is probably one of the hardest to be obeying your parents and that includes Heavenly Father. I never got that far but I met girls who have. It is a miserable thing especially since you and your date aren’t married. Even if the guy says that he’ll marry you if you get pregnant don’t always count on it. And even after your married trying to keep the standards is still a very high need. Don’t slip not ever and if you do repent and never do it again.


Howard Lemmon October 19, 2006 at 3:11 pm

That was a great article. I hope everyone realizes just how important it is to listen these words of wisdom here and not make a super serious mistake that can mess up your life forever.


Anonymous April 13, 2007 at 5:05 pm

Howard Lemon is smart.


Anonymous May 14, 2007 at 8:14 am

Beofre i knew about the gospel i did so many bad things, this was one of the biggest challenges i faced growing up in my community, after i had known about the gospel i tried to change but i fell back into bad company and made some stupid choices. I didn’t know which way to turn, i felt that i had gone to the point of no retun, but reading the gospel and listening to the words of the prophet changed that. I learned that i could change and be forgiven, even though it feels wondefull to be forgiven it would have felt better if i had avoided the whole situation. It is better to learn from the mistakes of others than to face such guilt and pain, take it from someone who knows. The gospel and the prophet will never mislead you.


Mean Eyed Cat June 6, 2007 at 9:01 am

I agree – this is the greatest temptation. I also fell into that temptation and really REALLY regret it. I have repented and live a good, clean life today. God does restore us if we have fallen and we repent and turn to Him.

So, I would like to ask you to learn from me and remember that no-one is “worth it”. Being right in the eyes of God is the best thing.

Be safe, and be happy.


Sue June 14, 2007 at 9:55 am

It’s incredibly important to protect yourselves and your future relationship. I believe God made us in such a way that we have a “soul tie” with those whom we are intimate with. A soul-tie with one to whom you are not married can honestly impede your marriage and have a negative impact on your future children, too. Protect yourself and your future–think highly enough of yourself as one of God’s daughters to refuse the come-ons and the raging hormones of the young men in your life.

But do know this: if you do mess up, God has given us the free gift of forgiveness through Jesus. Ask for forgiveness and then choose to live as though you are a “virgin again” and avoid situations where you might be compromised.

It’s totally worth it–sex is an amazing gift that God created and gave us, and in a loving, trusting marriage, it is everything He designed it to be.

Be blessed in the Lord today! 🙂


Anonymous July 7, 2007 at 7:33 pm

I was raped… I never told my parents about it because I am embarrased because my friend told me I broke one of gods commandments. Am I really to blame?


Anonymous September 4, 2007 at 12:07 pm

If you were raped, it was not your fault in any way, shape or form. The responsibility is 100% with the person who raped you. You did not violate any commandments, because it was not your choice to be raped- you did nothing. I hope you are able to find some support.


Anonymous October 14, 2007 at 7:43 pm

My ward had a BYD about protecting our special gift. We had a demonstration that had to do with a 3 Musketeers candy bar. At the end of the BYD, we were each given a 3 Musketeers bar as a “special gift”.

From that day on, whenever my friends in my ward would eat a 3 Musketeers bar, we would always jokingly say “You ate your special gift!” Even though that is only a joke, it is still nice to have that reminder of how my friends in my ward will always help me keep my standards.


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