The Five Love Languages

by Jen on April 23, 2005

This is a book I read when I was dating the guy who’s now my husband. It really helped my understanding of relationships, and forever changed the way I think about communication. I found it at my local library while browsing around.

The Five Love Languages was written by a Christian marriage counselor. It explains that everyone has a primary love language. You express love using your love language. You feel loved when someone else expresses love to you through your love language. For instance, one of the love languages is called something like “kind words” (it’s been a long time since I read the book, so I don’t remember the exact phrase he used). Another love language is “quality time”. So if your love language is “kind words,” you tend to express your love verbally and you feel loved when others express love verbally to you. But if your sweetheart’s love language is quality time, your kind words of love may not mean a lot to them. They feel loved when you spend quality time with them. If you’re not spending quality time with them they think you’re all talk. They try to show you their love by spending quality time with you, but you may still feel unloved because they neglect to tell you that they love you enough or verbally praise you in other ways. If they say things that put you down, this hurts you even more because you’re a person who values verbal expression.

When you learn what the five love languages are, you can immediately figure out the love languages of the people you’re close to. All of a sudden relationship problems start to make sense and you can see how to fix them.

What you learn in this book explains how so many couples who are in love end up having misunderstandings. You and your mate don’t need to speak the same love language, you just have to realize what your partner’s love language is and use their language when you want to express your love to them. I still remember all five love languages, but I won’t tell you them all. That wouldn’t be fair to the author. You’ll just have to read the book to find out.

This book is good for all couples, dating, married or otherwise. It will actually help any relationship, not just romantic relationships. This book really taught me a lot. Click Here to read more.

Now there’s The Five Love Languages for Singles. I haven’t read this one but I’m sure it’s just as great as the original book. Click Here to read more.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Lara September 6, 2005 at 2:41 pm

I have read the Five Love Languages as well and it is wonderful! It has helped me so much when I was dating and now that I am married, it is worth it to understand men, and see what you can do to help improve your communication because sometimes it can be difficult to see what they truly need!

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Anonymous April 10, 2006 at 12:33 am

This is a great book. When I was dating the man who became my fiance, we did a lot of reading to decide whether we were really in love. This book was a gentle reality check to our very strong feelings for each other, and as we have progressed together, we know how best to (chastely)express that affection. Great for engaged couples, marrieds, and even girls who are dating–I read it for the first time when I was in high school. It is useful for every kind of relationship, even your family. I recommend it highly. There is also another book for engaged LDS couples called “300 Questions LDS Couples Should Ask Before Marriage” or something like that. We got it at the BYU-I bookstore, and LOVE it. It brings up a lot of things that are important to discuss before you settle down with your EC.

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